Say no to suicide. Getting help with your problems and concerns

Say NO to suicide. You’re better and stronger than that. You deserve to live, and have a better life. You can achieve the things you want to.

If you’re seriously considering suicide, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

Need to talk to someone right now?

In the United States:

Call or text 988

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

988lifeline.org

Outside the US: findahelpline.com has country-specific crisis lines.

It’s not worth it, and people do care — whether you believe it or not. I get that you might truly believe nobody will care, or that they’re “better off without you,” or that you’re “a burden.” But you’re not thinking clearly right now if you’re in this state. Your family, friends, and people who barely know you will be hurt and traumatized by a rash decision. I know this firsthand — my uncle died by suicide years ago. My whole family grieved for years, and we still remember him today. We wish we’d seen more warning signs and done more to help him. The same has happened with several friends, whether close or not. It’s not something anyone forgets.

You might feel like you’re relieving your suffering, but life can be much worse than yours is right now — and people go through worse, come out of it, and even thrive.

Talk to someone. Multiple people if you can.

It might be difficult or embarrassing, but you need to tell someone about what’s hurting you so much. Getting your story out there can be a relief on its own, and even more so if you talk to someone who understands. Think about what you’d be leaving behind — some of it is still unknown to you and could be wonderful. You don’t know what your future holds if you throw your life away now.

Most people who know you — unless they’re complete jackasses or think you just want attention — will want to listen and help. If one person’s reaction isn’t what you needed, try someone else. Don’t worry about what they think. We’re talking about your life. And honestly, if you’re seriously considering suicide, you’ve got nothing to lose by telling someone how you feel. Don’t give up before giving yourself a chance.

In case you didn’t know

I have severe bipolar disorder. I know what suicidal feels like — I’ve been there, and I’ve attempted suicide more than once. I get it.

See: What severe depression is like | My bipolar disorder experience | Is suicide selfish?

I’m getting treatment now that helps me cope with my problems. I have to be strong, and I put a lot of energy into being positive when I’m struggling.

Some other suggestions

• Avoid alcohol.

  It worsens depression, especially with mental illnesses like bipolar disorder.

• Avoid illegal drugs and substances.

  Same reason. Plus addiction, health side effects, and legal problems. If you’re already miserable, think about how you’d feel in jail.

• Avoid harming yourself.

• Try to think of positive things.

• Write down what’s bothering you, then work through the list step by step.

• Express your feelings creatively.

• Watch something funny on YouTube, TV, or whatever entertainment works for you.

  Sometimes I find that watching comedy — even if it’s stupid, even if it doesn’t make me laugh — is distracting enough to help lighten my mood until I naturally come out of the depression. I like prank videos, people doing stupid things in public, or silly cartoons.

• Listen to relaxing music.

  I wouldn’t suggest dark, aggressive music with a fast beat even if it matches your mood — it tends to keep you stuck there. Try something more relaxing and hopeful, but still in a style you’d appreciate.

• Consider changing your environment.

  If you have the energy, do some cleaning or rearrange your house. Move furniture around. Swap out paintings or decorations. Paint a room a lighter color if that’s an option. Fresh surroundings can shift your mood.

• Consider exercising.

• Remember you’re not the only one who feels this way.

• Things change.

  Whether you’re dealing with mental illness like I am, a brutal breakup, financial trouble, the death of someone you loved, or anything else — things will change. You likely have many years ahead, and it’s unlikely your situation stays exactly the same unless you do nothing about it.

• Make an effort to change your life for the better.

  If you have unresolved issues from trauma, don’t ignore them. Find a therapist. Bottling things up indefinitely doesn’t work — eventually it all comes out anyway, usually at the worst possible time. You need to accept what happened and move forward.

Start making a plan today. Right now. Don’t put it off. You’re stronger than you think, and when you get through this, you’ll be able to handle whatever comes next even better than before.

Also check out coping skills from yours truly.